- Marliana Alisemon
It's my Birthday! Shared Experience Part 3
Updated: 1 day ago
It's my birthday!
And what better way to celebrate than post another Shared Experience. It is my intention to let you know, you're not alone in your experiences whether good or bad. And as it's a celebration of my Self today let's make this one about spiritual experiences!
I have the hottest cup of coffee, I'm listening to the most wonderful jams this morning and I'm in my pj's Let's do this.
In my "About Me" section I have shared a couple of my first experiences as a small child. I'm going to share ones a little further along my path today.
I was 14 years old. And in a family dynamic that was toxic and cyclical, negligent. I of course felt lost, among an array of other emotions and let's be real I was wild... Utterly wild. With no discipline or routine I was skipping school daily I picked up smoking and drinking and was seeking attention in all the wrong places.
I remember one night I couldn't sleep in my bedroom. Now, for the life of me I can't see it, or remember why but I remember moving out to the big sectional in the living room to sleep. I was sitting in one of the end seats that had a foot recliner. My mom's computer was in the opposite corner of the room so I could see it clearly or at least the outline of the desk and monitor in the dark.
And I had woken up to look over there. I can't explain it, but I woke up looking at the computer... Almost like I was looking at it before I became conscious again. And there was a very clear person there. They were sitting on the desk, with a noose around their neck, dead. They weren't moving and I could hear nothing. But the fear was real. I froze and sat there for what felt like hours. I don't know what time I finally fell back asleep but whern I woke in the morning that person was gone.
In asking now, This person was a messenger for me. A message to stand up, grow up and take the reins of my Self which was currently running out of control. That there are serious consequences for people who don't listen. (I always express myself to my clients... When we listen we suffer less) I was being warned almost regularly to smarten up. Of course being me I didn't listen.
Can you think of a time when you were warned? Or do you have an "ah-ha!" moment and see a warning you didn't before?
This is an image I put on paper 3 years ago now. I was suffering with the world and it's energy, the pandemic and my own internal wounds. I had done a lot of work internally but as we know its a continual "Onion" we peel back layers for our entire human experience and I can tell you, this pivotal moment in my life is where I was aggressively working to peel my onion.
This image has all the feelings and emotions and memories I was flooded with that evening. I secluded myself in my bedroom away from my family and could not stop crying. Some of what I wrote I now look back on and see it wasn't reality, but a cycle of victimhood and holding on to things as almost an excuse for who I was. Don't get me wrong all of this has happened and all of this shaped me in to who I am today. (some of it was me absorbing others and mirroring it out... see my other blog post "are you an empath?")
In the coming days after putting this on paper, my heart space would start to open. My heart had been so closed and so hurt, wounded for so long I didn't know what it was like to be open in that way. I was starting to feel changes all over. My body was warming (vibration raising) sleeping better and had compassion for others where maybe before this in many situations I couldn't feel or express the love and compassion.
And then it happened.
I just realized this happened on my Birthday! HA!
I went for a massage at my clinic I normally go to. and I had booked with a new lady who in her description said Reiki and intuitive. It kind of jumped at me so I listened and booked with her. I had a very wonderful massage, and in the end she did some energy work for me. and the last spot was my heart space. As her hand lay just above my skin in my closed eyes I saw vivid colors of blue and purple, green. Kind of like cartoon smears of acrylic paint, swirling into balls and shapes constantly fluid and changing. She said to me "Okay you're done I'll see you out front, please take your time" and left. I laid there for what seemed like 15 minutes just breathing and taking stock of what had happened. My heart was beating with a purpose, hard enough I could feel it in my chest and I was starting to feel... JOY.
I got dressed and sauntered back out to the front and I'll never forget what she said to me. "I don't know why but I knew my hand had to be there. This is your energy you choose where to use it" and I was terribly excited at all of it, it didn't register what she'd said to me. (It's that listening again) Driving home my heart got louder, stronger... and the JOY was coming in fluidly I couldn't understand the shift but knew I had to meditate once I was home. I had been meditating for years at this point but had found it to be a huge struggle on occasion.
That day was different I fell into a deep meditation where I was in and out but could feel my heart the entire time. I got up a little groggy but as the day went on my heart had pushed me in to the other side, Across the veil where there is only Bliss and love. Everything and I mean everything was beyond bright and vivid. I can't explain how I was seeing things, or feeling everyone and everything around me or the TASTE OF FOOD holy smokes my good Lord if you were in that Joey Tomatoes with me on that day while we were all having my birthday dinner... You would always remember that night as that lady who interrupted your meal with her groans of bliss. Hahahah! Oh, I got ALL the looks... and our poor waiter hahahaha!
I ordered a steak for myself and at that point I was in complete Bliss this is the best I can explain the feeling. The world could have ended and all I would have felt was unconditional love and ultimate connection. The steak was like nothing I'd ever tasted or smelled. I couldn't help but groan and cheer for my meal. I was in tears tasting it all. It was the taste of Home. This day, this night completely changed my life and how I viewed my trauma and pain and in turn how I healed myself and my family.
If you've ever had this experience I will confirm for you right now, unequivocally you have felt the "other side" you have felt your God and the feeling of being Home.
I've had repeat experiences like this throughout my journey and it's a confirmation and solid reminder for me of my purpose and Human experience, of Home.
Have you had a similar experience? I'd love to hear it!
Okay, last one for today and it only happened last night. I'm sharing it because it is showing me how my husband is becoming more aware and attuned to his spirituality and gifts.
My husband and I were in our bedroom winding down for bed and we were giggling at something we were watching when all of a sudden I heard a bird. I knew it was tropical but it instantly made me think of the magpies who try to rule our pine trees out front. I asked him if he'd heard the bird and to my shock... HE DID. He heard the same bird I did.
He is an aware man, and an empath/intuitive but its... sporadic for him. Mostly because it's learning to trust yourself, and what you're being shown.
At this point, both of us knew that the bird was with us and lost but was ready to go Home. And so we both asked it to go Home and reconnect with its creator.
I could see it flying away in the evening sky. It was a really beautiful experience.
That's it for today! I'd be so grateful to have you share some of your spiritual experiences with me, and the lessons around them.
Best of wishes on this gorgeous Friday family.
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